Shame.

Shame is a heavy, lonesome passenger. More ominous than Guilt, his counterpart, he skulks around offering nothing but pain. Shame erodes one’s confidence, worth and joy. We’ve all known Guilt. He’s the one who comes when you have said or done something you know you shouldn’t do (or should have done). And while they might seem similar enough to be mistaken for one another, Shame is a much more dangerous master of disguise. He hides in the back seat, not easily visible to others. Shame straps himself in, puts a gun to your head and tells you to drive.

You may not even recognize Shame, as he comes in all forms. What differentiates him from Guilt is that Shame delights in destruction—he digs his claws in deeply and fills you with his toxic poison. Unlike Guilt, who rides in the front seat, making you aware that you have become lost and that you need proper directions to get back on the right road, Shame hijacks your life. Shame takes you deep into the wrong parts of town and makes sure that you stay lost rather than finding the scenic, beautiful coastline where you belong. When Guilt is ignored, Shame appears, hellbent on making you drive in circles, crash into a wall or drive off of a bridge.

Shame doesn’t have to be your passenger. If he has become your backseat driver, you do have the power to pull over and make him get out. After all, his gun is empty—it’s all a facade. Shame is a pathetic liar who only wishes to destroy you for ignoring Guilt.

Don’t let Shame keep you driving in an endless loop through the dark parts of Mistakeville. There is an exit ramp. Pull over, look Shame in the face, realize that the past is the past, and that you don’t have to keep circling the block just because Shame tells you to. Acknowledge Guilt, agree that you have taken a few wrong turns, listen to his direction and get back on the road to where you belong.

GUILT (gilt) noun.

A feeling of having done wrong or failed in an obligation.

SHAME (SHām) noun.

A painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behavior; A loss of respect or esteem; dishonor.