Return Policy.

’Tis the season for gift giving. It’s also a time when some of us do some gift returning. We’ve all received that soap-on-a-rope, that ugly sweater, or that thing that just doesn’t quite fit anywhere. So, thankfully, many stores have a return policy. You can exchange that Little Mermaid macramé potholder for something else, or take back that rhinestone-encrusted 100% itchy wool pantsuit and receive a full refund. While it’s often been said, “It’s the thought that counts,” (and it does), there are times when a return policy is a godsend.

This season is also a time when family and friends come together in celebration and fellowship. And, while this is supposed to be a time of peace on Earth and goodwill to all men (and women), too often the stresses of the holidays take a toll and rob us of our cheer. We can become depressed, irritable and frustrated.There are no Norman Rockwellian picture-perfect families. While some gatherings are pleasant and uplifting, there are many others where the stress of the season causes pent-up emotions and situations from the past to crash the party. Things are said that are better left unsaid—hurtful things, angry things, unfair things, destructive and damaging things. And, unlike that Little Mermaid macramé potholder, there is no return policy on your words.Sometimes others will try to make you the target of their frustrations and persist in eliciting a response. Don’t let it be about you—you don’t have to engage in aggressive exchanges or be “right.” Be a peacemaker, not a bad gift-giver, even if that means you hold your tongue.

Give the gift of grace this season. Exercise power over your tongue. Resolve yourself to be patient, kind and slow to anger. Is there baggage between you and another person? Step over it and offer peace and forgiveness. Forgiveness is one gift that is equally shared between the giver and the receiver. Just as you can’t take back the effects of hurtful words, so it is that those spoken in peace, compassion, love and forgiveness also cannot be returned.

Oh, and nobody really likes fruitcake.


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