Drama. Some people just seem to live in it, don’t they? We all know people like this. There are those who seem to thrive only when they are stirring up strife. Or those who are always scandalmongering, or complaining. There are those who are toxic with their spite and venomous in their hatred. There are those who constantly belittle others, dehumanizing them through libelous whispers and malicious rumoring.
These people put themselves on a golden pedestal, high and mighty above all others, unable to do any wrong, arrogantly judging everyone else for their shortcomings and foibles, unwilling to admit their own imperfections. Even though they might be stunningly attractive or seemingly charming, their abhorrent attitudes and appalling actions expose them as hypocrites. They are, quite simply put, ugly.
Nothing is more off-putting to me than those who think that they walk on water. They never do wrong—it’s always someone else who has the problem. It’s always someone else who has committed an offense, usually toward them. They are quick to judge, quick to anger, and quick to speak (generally hate-filled words and usually quite cowardly behind closed doors). They lack empathy and are devoid of grace. Rather than consider all sides of a situation, they only see one side—theirs. Instead of respectfully confronting someone with their grievance, these people exacerbate the situation by sullying the other person’s reputation by way of bad-mouthing and character assassination. It’s unattractive and it’s sad. And, unfortunately, there have been—and continue to be—occasions when I have stood on that pedestal. My medal says “Ass of the Year Award.” That’s certainly not one to be proud of.
“Even fools are thought wise if they keep silent, and discerning if they hold their tongues.” (Proverbs 17:28). So much turmoil could be avoided by simply keeping our mouths shut. “The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruits.” (Proverbs 18:21). We can do so much damage simply by what comes out of our mouths.
It was Jesus who said “A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart brings forth evil. For out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.” (Luke 6:45). I certainly have had some evil treasure in my heart, and have let some unkind things spew forth from my mouth—those of which I am ashamed. Although I try to walk the more difficult path of grace, humility, and forgiveness, I have moments of struggle where I buy into my own self-righteousness and take offense at the wrong that someone has committed against me (real or imaginary).
When I allow myself to become embittered by someone, and when I let little complaints cross my lips, it serves no purpose other than to add fuel to a fire—one that ultimately burns me alone.The ancient Greeks used to don different masks when playing certain characters as they performed theatrical plays. The actors were called hypokritḗs, from which we derive our modern word hypocrite. Today, we think of a hypocrite as someone who is two-faced—they say one thing and do something completely the opposite. Or they act a certain way while their heart is somewhere else. It seems only fitting then that those people who love drama also love to wear their hypocritical masks. They are quick to exalt themselves as they point out fault in others, while they ignore or downplay their own faults.
Jesus also said, “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” (Matthew 7:3-5)
I don’t want to wear the Ass of the Year medal. I don’t want to be an actor, an instigator or a perpetuator. I don’t want to be a man who cannot be trusted with what I say when others are not around. I’ve been on the receiving and, and it’s doesn’t feel good. I’ve also been one who has said such things—even recently—and it leaves my conscience bruised and my heart heavy. When I think about how situations would be different if I had simply kept my mouth shut or taken my issues directly to the source, I see just how foolish and unwise it is to take center stage in such a negative drama.
Instead, I strive to listen to James, who said, “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” (James 1:19). Life is tough enough without being subjected to torrents of other people’s drama. And it’s too fleeting to waste time living in, creating, and perpetuating tumultuously destructive theatrics. It’s a play that I am tired of, bored with, frustrated by, and disinterested in sitting through the final act. Thumbs down.
“Fools find no pleasure in understanding but delight in airing their own opinions.” (Proverbs 18:2) “When wickedness comes, so does contempt, and with shame comes reproach.” (Proverbs 18:3) “The words of the mouth are deep waters, but the fountain of wisdom is a rushing stream.” (Proverbs 18:4) “The lips of fools bring them strife, and their mouths invite a beating.” (Proverbs 18:6) “The mouths of fools are their undoing, and their lips are a snare to their very lives.” (Proverbs 18:7) “The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to the inmost parts.” (Proverbs 18:8) “Before a downfall the heart is haughty, but humility comes before honor.” (Proverbs 18:12) “To answer before listening—that is folly and shame.” (Proverbs 18:13) Please share this with others