Sports.

I don’t like most sports. I never could understand the crazed frenzy that consumes a lot of sports fans and the insane amount of time and money that go into such things. I understand that they are fun and can be enjoyable, and I certainly hold no judgement toward those who are into sports, but it simply isn’t my thing.

Part of my disinterest lies in the aggressively competitive winner vs. loser aspect of many games. Some players are just mean toward one another, and many fans are worse. I don’t know how many soccer (football) fans have overturned cars and lit things on fire simply because their guys didn’t kick as many balls into a little net as did the other guy…it’s confetti or chaos.

I appreciate a little friendly competition and definitely respect the amount of hard work and talent that goes into becoming great at what you do. But sometimes people get so consumed by the tense excitement of the game that their enthusiasm turns to hostile aggression. Instead of a “Well played, old chap” kind of thing, they instead angrily shout “In your face, #%@*! And your momma, too!” They focus so much on keeping score and winning the game that they forget that there are actual people under those helmets and uniforms.

I think relationships are a lot like that, too. Most dysfunctional ones are those regarded as sport—someone has to be a winner and someone must be a loser. We forget that we are all playing the same game, and that as partners we are supposed to be on the same team. Rather than encouraging one another, respecting and nurturing our teammate, we trade them to another team and turn things into an all out war—we must dominate and crush our opponent.  A unified “Us vs. them” becomes a dividing “me vs. you.”

Jesus once said, “Every city or household divided against itself will not last.” (Matthew 12:25). How many sports teams have suffered because one of the players developed a huge ego and essentially played against his own team? How many relationships have fallen into ruin because egos clash in a game where we make it all about keeping score?

Play to win, but do it with respect and sportsmanship. Remember who is on your team and who your fans are. Stop keeping score toward your friend or your spouse or your coworker. They may not even be playing the same game as you. You might be kicking a field goal while they are simply trying to round third base into home plate. Remember who is on your team and compete together. Help put them into positions that best suit their talents and abilities, and then not only be their teammate, but their cheerleader as well. Remember who is on your team. Do the thing. Win the points.