For some it’s anger. For others it’s sadness, or timidity, or shame, or worthlessness, or defeat, or arrogance. We often don’t know the true posture of another’s heart. Though the manifestation of these feelings is sometimes obvious in the way they behave, we aren’t always privy to what circumstances or experiences have given birth to such things.
While our feelings about others (and even ourselves) are sometimes justifiable, too often we pass judgment without having a clear understanding of a person’s backstory. Every tree has its root. Every bend in the river has its cause. We don’t know what troubles or disappointments or frustrations have led to the orientation of someone’s heart; we don’t know what details have influenced their behavior. Yet, we judge them as if we do, ignorant of our own foibles.
Situations and experiences help define us. This is life. There will always be obstacles in the road on which we are traveling. And these roads will always have forks which require us to take one direction or another. What we choose to do with these obstacles and which path we elect to take determines whether we will find misery or joy; peace or worry; anger or compassion.
Before you assign blame to others, rush toward judgment or condemn them, consider that there might be more under the surface than you can see. You don’t know what the story of their journey has been—what side roads they have traveled—nor do you know what challenges they have faced. You may be looking at a symptom of an unseen cause.
Instead, offer them compassion. Give them kindness. Show them patience, understanding and encouragement. Allow for forgiveness and grace. After all, aren’t these things you would desire for others to bestow upon you in your brokenness, guilt and shame?
Be forgiving toward others, but also toward yourself. Don’t cling to broken things. As you let go, you will find that the orientation of your heart will change. You’ll find a beautiful new perspective of your own hurts and hangups and of the road ahead. Obstacles will become opportunities. Hurts will lose their heaviness. Mistakes will become milestones. This is the better life.
Please share with others