iPleasure

“Happiness is not something to pursue…In pursuing happiness, everything becomes a commodity.” — Rebecca Tekautz, When Happy Trumps Holy.

It has been said that the best cure for hedonism (self-indulgent pleasure-seeking) is an attempt to practice it. How true.We live in a culture where bigger is better; where the more the you have, the more successful you are—the happier you are; where the main purpose of life is enjoyment and personal fulfillment (according to 61% of Americans). Yet, one of the least pleasurable things you can do is to live for pleasure and especially for the pursuit of stuff. When people are close to taking their last breath, they don’t usually say, “Gee, I really wish I would have collected more stuff.”

The allure and excitement of getting that new iGadget (whatever that may be for you) soon wears off. That awesome, amazing new thing simply becomes another old thing, soon to be replaced by the next big iThing. We have become a culture stricken with ADD (Appreciation Deficit Disorder).

Having stuff is not a bad thing. It’s the love of stuff—the pursuit of happiness in that stuff—that is destructive. The more you have, the more you want. It’s like someone who struggles with an addiction (such as alcoholism, drugs, sex, gambling, etc.). Pursuing pleasure through things will never give and sustain the same high it once did.

I think of a few specific times in my life where instead of getting things for myself, I gave them away. I remember occasions where instead of using my time in pursuit of my own indulgent satisfaction, I gave it away to other people, either in word or deed. My church comes together annually for something called “Project One” where on one day, hundreds of volunteers freely give their time, energy, sweat and love to helping out those less fortunate or in need of seemingly overwhelming things they just cannot do for themselves. It’s amazing. And when I think upon those times, that initial high I felt of doing the first one (almost ten years ago) has not faded one bit. These memories stick with me and are as electric as they ever were, whereas I can barely remember the things of yesterday that I just “had to have!”

The more I pour into other people, the better I feel—the more happiness, gratification, joy and fulfillment I have. And the more I pour into chasing my own amusement, the less amused I become. What a great paradox. Now this isn’t to say that taking pleasure in doing things for yourself or by having certain things is bad; enjoying these can help recharge your batteries and is healthy. But when our sole pursuit of happiness is self-indulgent, we soon realize that they don’t really fill us up. Life is lonely when lived by (and for) yourself.

Life may be treating you seemingly well at the moment, but when bumpy roads come (and they will), is your iGadget going to be there for you in the same way as that of a strong relationship with a real person? Will all your trips to Tahiti comfort you in ways that a true friend can? Will you say to yourself, “I wish they had an app to quell my loneliness.” Or will you have invested in friends who’ll bring you real joy?

Victor Frankl may have said it best: “Happiness cannot be pursued; it must ensue, and it only does so as the unintended side effect of one’s personal dedication to a cause greater than oneself or as the by-product of one’s surrender to a person other than oneself.”