Harmony.

I like to sing while driving my car. And I am a rock star—a legend. I have a few certain albums that I listen to over and over and over again (much to my wife’s chagrin); they are just really great albums. They are filled with songs that resonate with me like few songs do. Not surprisingly, I have nearly every nuance of every song etched into my brain.

One of my favorite things is to sing the harmonies—the combination of simultaneously sounded musical notes to produce chords and chord progressions having a pleasing effect (that’s the dictionary definition). When they are paired with the melody, there’s a magical depth and texture that is created.

Generally, harmonies are sung in slightly higher notes than the melody. And while I am awesome (a rock star, remember?), I do have limits to my range. So, every once in a while, I hit a misplaced note (or two) that are off just enough to make the song sound like a cat sharpening its claws on a big green chalkboard—the stuff shivers are made of. It’s disharmonious and full of discord. It’s “sour” as they say. It ruins the song and strips it of it’s magic. If the entire song was like that—full of these clashing notes—I don’t think it would be played very often and the singers would go back to waiting tables and parking cars.

Sour notes can ruin relationships, too. They can become uncomfortable and agitating. Like music, when our notes (thoughts, words, behaviors) don’t work to complement another person’s notes, there is complete discord. Instead of something that is melodic and beautiful, the relationship is broken and messy. It is when we come together harmoniously (adjective: forming a pleasing or consistent whole; free from disagreement or dissent) that we can truly live in peace, happiness and harmony.

In a perfect world, the songs of our lives would be beautiful masterpieces, but the truth is we all have a range—we will hit those sour notes from time to time. It’s unfortunate, but it’s true. However, we have the choice to get back on pitch and make the song as pleasing as possible. Sometimes we are the ones singing the melody and sometimes we’re the harmony. Whatever our role at a given time, we must work together—to communicate in humbleness and respect—to ensure we have a successful record.

Do you want your relationships to have the power and beauty of a well-played orchestra, or full of friction and disunity like that of the instruments warming up before the entire orchestra plays?

The Apostle Paul in his letter to the Roman church once said, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” (Romans 12:18) A way to ensure that you hit those relational notes can be found in the verses immediately preceding: “Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.” Harmony may not always be possible—you cannot force someone else to play in tune with you. But do all that you can, according to what is in you, to make peace with every person. Harmonize.