Do roses have thorns, or do the thorns have roses? It’s a matter of perspective, really. Sure, thorns aren’t the most pleasant of things, but doesn’t the beauty of the flower itself far outweigh the sharp, ugly barbs?
Often, what you see depends entirely upon what you are looking for.
Many of us have been on the receiving end of someone who is hypercritical. And many of us are guilty of doing the same thing. It is so very easy to focus on and be quick to point out even the tiniest of flaws in others. We latch on to a mistake someone has made or onto something they have done in a way that we would not have done it, and we use that as a weapon to dishonor, humiliate, demean and tear them down. And, over time, these things are all we begin to see.
Do you want healthy relationships? Humble yourself. Bite your tongue. Be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to get angry. Maybe your way is not always the best way. Maybe their way, even though different from yours, is another perfectly legitimate way of achieving the same result.
When you recognize that you are being critical, narrow-minded, snippy or pridefully insulting, stop. It may be difficult or it may be very easy, but instead find something about that person that you appreciate and think upon that thing. Go so far as to point it out to them. Thank them. Compliment them. Build them up.
We all like to be liked and love to be loved. Belittlement and judgment are perfect poisons to self-esteem and sense of worth. Conflict begets conflict. Negativity begets negativity. Don’t have anything nice to say about someone? Find something—it’s there. Everyone has immense worth and all have unique beauty; we just have to look beyond the thorns and change what it is we are looking for.
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